AUTISTIC BURNOUT

What It Is and What Helps

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TL;DR: Autistic burnout is real, it is not depression, and it is not a character flaw. Name it, get the shame off it, rest properly, and don't rush back. Sometimes it's the beginning of living differently.

What autistic burnout is

Burnout is a state of profound exhaustion — physical and mental — that can affect all of us. Autistic folk are especially likely to experience it, and it can take two forms — either short, intense periods of burnout that we normally try to adrenaline ourselves out of, or chronic burnout that can last for weeks, months or years and can lead us to feel like a disappointment to ourselves and other people, and confused about what has happened to our level of functioning so drastically. Burnout is far more common in autistic folk. It is primarily driven by the sheer exhaustion of navigating a world that wasn't designed for us. It can mean that we lose our function to do all sorts of things like eating, speaking, studying or working, and it can affect our experience of our bodies, so things like sounds become more cacophonous or pain can become difficult, or even more difficult, to feel. Burnout is painful at all sorts of levels but — without wanting to go all positive psychology on you — I do want to say that autistic burnout can lead to autistic breakthrough, as our systems are basically demanding we do things differently to suit our unique needs. So what helps?

Naming it

First of all, naming autistic burnout as autistic burnout can be a very important first step. It is not depression. It is not lack of willpower. It is not a permanent decline in function. Not only does it allow us to recognise what's happening and perhaps get help, but it can also help to look at techniques other neurodivergent folk have found useful.

Shame and the inner critic

Second, it's super important to try to deconstruct any shame parts that try to take over, let alone any inner critics. It can be helpful to see burnout not as an individual failing but as an ableist byproduct of the overwork you have to do in masking, which puts a huge load on the mind and body. Compassionate meditation can be super useful.

A gentle recuperation toolkit

Third, some strategies. There are loads out there, and none of these are things to work through in order — take whichever one is nearest.

Immediate cocooning. Whatever makes our bodies feel safer — comfort gaming and comfort TV and the same programme on repeat, comfort foods, weighted blankets, the curtains shut. Sameness and predictability, so our body-minds can just gently start reenergising. Sometimes we need serious time by ourselves, and that is not the same as giving up.

Body-doubling. Someone we can be alongside without demand, in the room or virtually. Company without requirement.

Spoons and energy envelope tracking. Always important for autistic body-minds, but even more so if you also have physical health problems.

A self-soothing menu. Worked out in advance, so nothing has to be decided when there's nothing left to decide with.

Stim and sensory supports. Whatever helps your nervous system feel safer — and more of it than usual, not less.

Micro-replenishment. Tiny dopamine hits that don't drain: some custard, a familiar playlist, something small and good to look at.

If you struggle to love yourself

If you struggle to love yourself, it can be useful to think of how you might help a friend, or a parent, or an animal, or a fictional character you knew had been carrying an awful burden for a very long time and needed kindness and accommodation — what might you do to help? How would you show compassion? Encourage them to get basic needs met in the easiest way possible — whether that's eating safe foods, staying hydrated, or using low-effort alternatives for hygiene.

Don't rush back too soon

Fourth, don't rush back too soon. I can't think of anyone autistic I know who hasn't been so relieved to feel any functioning return that they don't try to do too much too soon. Sometimes that's things we love, such as our special interests, and sometimes that's what we think we should do — friends we should meet, people we care for, jobs we should do.

You've carried a lot for a long time. It's okay to rest now.

The bigger rethink

Lastly, sometimes autistic burnout is a sign from ourselves to ourselves that enough is enough, and we need to have a big rethink about what we do with our days and how we live, and perhaps even love. Don't try to do this in the middle of burnout — that is adrenalising yourself out of it, and your system will backlash. But perhaps, if you possibly can, keep that little glimmer that something good may come of this.

Dr Jay x